now is the winter of our discontent (Pt.5)

[cywscross]

Fandom: Naruto

Summary: It takes Naruto thirteen days to catch the girl who has taken to swinging by Orochimaru’s house every few days to yell at him without anyone else around to overhear.

 

“SENSEI!!  I’M HOME!!”

 

Orochimaru has the overwhelming urge to bury his head in his hands and groan.  Of course; Anko’s four-month mission is over, and now she’s come home.

 

Not that he’s unhappy that she’s come home, and sounding like she’s more or less in good health.  He’s glad, very much so, because otherwise, he’ll probably have to kill all her teammates for not seeing her back alive, and then he’ll be convicted of treason and premeditated manslaughter.  Troublesome, as the Naras would say.

 

But does she have to keep coming by whenever she has time off?  She’s been doing it ever since he released her from her apprenticeship with him, absolutely bound and determined to hang on to him like-

 

Oh dear god, she’s just like Naruto.  And in a moment of weakness, Orochimaru has already let Naruto into his home.  Once Anko finds out, and she will, the ensuing temper tantrum will not be pretty.

 

“Maru-san?”  Naruto squints at him from across the table where he’s reading one of the beginner scrolls on chakra systems that Orochimaru recently bought for him.  The boy learns incredibly, prodigiously fast when someone’s there to guide him, which is no surprise considering who his parents were, and he’s definitely not only looking at pictures anymore.  “Who’s that?”

 

Orochimaru’s jaw tightens.  “No one.”

 

“SENSEI, I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE!  YOU CAN’T AVOID ME FOREVER!  IT’S BEEN FIVE YEARS!  HOW LONG ARE YOU GONNA SULK?!”

 

Orochimaru doesn't understand why she can’t be more like her teammates.  Kouji and Osamu both had the good sense to cut all ties with him the moment their Chuunin Exams were over.  Then again, that might explain why they’re both career Genin to this day.  Neither of them had Anko’s spark; she was the only one who made Chuunin on her first try after all.  But back then, there were already rumours circulating about him, and even before that, people – civilians and shinobi alike – already feared him.  He was always more ruthless and bloodthirsty than Jiraiya and Tsunade put together, more shinobi, and it showed on the field, making his comrades uneasy and the gossip even worse, and the day that Genin team was given to him, only Anko looked inquisitive when she met him, determined to impress him; the other two were wary no matter what Orochimaru did.

 

To be fair, around that time, Orochimaru’s sanity was already going downhill so he supposes Anko was the crazy one while her teammates were the rational ones.  The only reason he was even allowed to see them through their first Chuunin Exams after the Yondaime caught him half a step away from the cliff edge of no return was because Minato and Kushina vouched for him.  Truthfully, once some sense was knocked back into him, he wanted to drop his team right then and there (kids shouldn't be around him, he insisted) but... well, Kushina could be persuasive in that hard-headed, steadfast way of hers, and he finally agreed on the condition that she monitored all their training sessions, and that – pass or fail – he would be allowed to hand his team over to someone else after the Exams.

 

Kouji and Osamu were relieved to be allowed to jump ship; Anko threw a conniption fit when he told her that he would not be keeping her on as his apprentice even though he promised.

 

Shinobi of any rank – though mostly Genin and Chuunin – can take an apprenticeship with a more experienced shinobi if they find that it’s worth their time, and the shinobi in question agrees.  Shizune started her apprenticeship under Tsunade when she was still a Genin and before Dan died, and Orochimaru was certainly training Anko more closely than he did his other two students since both of them thought it would be for the long haul.

 

(They had different definitions of ‘long haul’ though; Anko’s was a proper, safe apprenticeship; Orochimaru’s was more along the lines of strengthening her to withstand his experimentation with the Cursed Se-)

 

She knew why though, from the very beginning; he explained it to her in concise detail so she knew the reasons for which he wanted her anywhere but within his immediate vicinity, especially when – five months later – the Kyuubi attack happened and there was no more Kushina and Minato to ensure that Orochimaru doesn't go off the deep end again.  They were the only two who were ever able to rein him back, not even needing to use force (much), and they were gone.

 

And to this day, the girl still wants to apprentice under him.  Orochimaru has always wondered whether she’s masochistic or just completely lacking in any sort of self-preservation.

 

Anko is, what, sixteen now?  No, her birthday was October twenty-fourth, so she’s seventeen now.  And she’s still a Chuunin when Orochimaru knows she can be better than that, but the day he walked away from her, the stupid girl pledged that she wouldn't advance in rank until he takes her under his wing again.

 

He called her bluff at the time, convinced that she would move on after moping for a while.

 

She didn't.

 

And she’s still pestering him half a decade later.  If only that devotion can be channeled into something more productive.

 

But it’s for her own good.  Sensei won’t trust her as much as he does his other shinobi if she ever starts apprenticing under Orochimaru again, and there are a handful of people even now that remember that she was once a dedicated student of the Snake Sannin, and therefore may have picked up some of his crueler tendencies and suspicious behaviour so they hold it against her.  That’s partially her own fault though; Orochimaru’s not so isolated that he hasn't heard of the way she threatens anyone who speaks a bad word about him in her hearing range, and she always, always claims that she’s getting closer to convincing Orochimaru to teach her again, especially when she’s at the bar, half-drunk and running her mouth.  Luckily, she’s also been saying that for years so most people just take it as a running gag nowadays.

 

“Maru-san?”  Naruto’s voice cuts through his thoughts, and he flicks another glance at his unofficial charge.  Outside, Anko is still ranting.  “Is this one of those things that Jijii won’t approve of?”

 

“No,” Orochimaru says tersely, returning to the scroll he was reading.  “This is one of those things that I don’t approve of.  Keep working.”

 

“She calls you ‘Sensei’,” Naruto gives him a very judgmental look that Orochimaru has done nothing to deserve.  Well, nothing within Naruto’s lifetime anyway.  “That means she’s someone important, right?  So shouldn't you answer her?”

 

Orochimaru’s been too soft on the boy.  Naruto’s giving him far too much backtalk these days.

 

“Go back to work,” He tells the kid.  “Ignore her.”

 

Naruto doesn't.  He looks almost accusing now.  “You didn't tell me you were a sensei.”

 

Orochimaru releases an inaudible sigh.  “I'm not.  I haven’t been one in a very long time, since before you were born.  ...I’m not good with children.”

 

Naruto looks wholly confused.  “But... you're good with me.”  Something shyer enters his expression.  “I mean, you're teaching me how to read and write, and you cook me meals while teaching me how to cook, and you bought me clothes, and you let me live here, and you already promised that you’d teach me your awesome jutsus when I become a Genin!”  He perks up in a way that’s highly reminiscent of an excited puppy.  Or maybe an excited kit.  “Hey, doesn't that make you my future sensei?”

 

“No it doesn't,” Of course it doesn't.  “It doesn't count if I'm only passing on a few things.  Besides, you’ll be assigned your own sensei when you graduate from the Academy, and I'm not in the teaching rotation.”

 

Sensei wouldn’t let him anyway, even if Orochimaru ever wants to be again.

 

“Now continue your reading or I’ll double your calligraphy assignment,” He threatens, giving the boy a hard stare.  He’s gratified to see Naruto hastily duck his head back down to hide behind his scroll.

 

Outside, Anko’s shouts are a blend of frustration and discouragement.  They've become more and more so over the years.

 

Orochimaru reaches out and taps a finger against an invisible seal on the wall, sending a trickle of his chakra into it and abruptly muffling all external noise.

 

The girl has to give up eventually.  She’s not like Naruto who’s so starved for attention that he’ll settle for Orochimaru.  Anko has her own circle of friends despite her... eccentricities, and a good reputation as a dependable if somewhat hyperactive and short-tempered comrade; she’ll be fine.

 

~0~0~0~

 

It takes Naruto thirteen days to catch the girl who has taken to swinging by Orochimaru’s house every few days to yell at him without anyone else around to overhear.

 

Naruto doesn't see any reason to beat around the bush.  “Is Orochimaru-san really your sensei?”

 

The girl’s expression instantly shutters with something dangerous and violent.  “Yeah, that’s right!”  She folds her arms under her boobs and glares down at him.  “You got a problem with that, brat?  I don’t take shit from Jounin who badmouth Sensei; don’t think I'm not gonna kick your ass if you do the same just ’cause you’re a kid!”

 

Naruto hurriedly holds up his hands and shakes his head.  “No, that’s not it!  I like Maru-san.  I live with him; he’s been taking care of me.”

 

A second later, he thinks that maybe he shouldn't have led with that piece of information.

 

“What?”  One hand shoots out and yanks him into the air so that he’s now dangling at the girl’s eye-level.  She looks enraged, and it takes a moment for Naruto to realize that there’s jealousy mixed in there as well.

 

“What do you mean you're living with him?!”  The girl demands, giving him a rough shake.  “You're just some kid!  Sensei stays away from everyone!  He’d never let you into his house!”  She squints at him.  “It can’t be because you're-” She stops.  Naruto wants to ask ‘I’m what?’ but he doesn't get the chance before the girl continues in a mutter like she’s talking to herself now, “Sensei isn’t like that anymore so he wouldn’t.”  And then louder, “You're really living with him?”

 

Naruto nods as best he can from his suspended position.  “Yeah, he helped me when the orphanage kicked me out, and then I spent a month knocking on his door, and then he let me in.  I have my own apartment now but I mostly stay at Maru-san’s.  I've been living with him for about two months now.”

 

The girl stares at him like she can’t believe what Naruto’s telling her, and then, without warning, she drops Naruto back to the ground.  He lands on his butt with an oomph, which, ouch, but he forgives her because she looks kinda hurt now even though she’s trying to hide it behind a lot of anger.

 

“I’ve been knocking for five years,” The girl grounds out, hands balled into fists at her sides.  She’s glowering at Naruto again, and for the first time since ever, he’s pretty sure that it isn’t for the same reason everyone else glowers at him.  “And he’s never once let me back in.  What’s so special about you?”

 

She practically spits out the question, looking ready to skin him alive like it’s all his fault, so Naruto quickly gets to the point of him tracking her down in the first place.

 

“He says he’s not good with children!”  He blurts out, and the girl freezes, eyes narrowing on him even more.  “Which I don’t think is true cuz he takes care of me all the time now, but he thinks it’s true, so, yeah.  Anyway, I dunno what happened between you two but nothing’s gonna change if he doesn't talk to you, so I was thinking, I could trick him outside while you're there, and then you two can talk!”

 

The girl looks at Naruto like she thinks he’s stupid but at least she doesn't look as pissed off anymore.  She snorts instead.  “You wanna trick a Sannin?  Are you outta your mind or just really arrogant?”

 

Naruto blinks.  “‘Sannin’?”

 

The girl’s eyebrows rise.  “...Oh my god, you don’t even know who you're living with, do you?”  She examines him more closely.  “How old are you now?  Five?  Six?  You're not in the Academy yet, are you?”

 

“I’m five,” Naruto tells her (his fifth birthday was his best so far because Orochimaru baked him a cake and bought him a new set of blunted kunai that he said he would start teaching Naruto how to use once he learned how to read and write fluently).  “Hokage-jijii said I might be able to start at the Academy next year.”

 

Which reminds him – he’s gonna have to go beg some more when he visits Jijii next time.  There’s no way he’s not entering the Academy next year; everyone enters at six.

 

“Anyway, it wouldn't work,” The girl’s saying now.  “No matter how well I hide my chakra signature, he’ll still sense me.”

 

Naruto knows what chakra is already.  Orochimaru’s been using some basic scrolls to teach him how to read (he still has trouble with more difficult words or phrases but he’s doing better every day), and then the Jounin went right on ahead and began Naruto’s ninja education, which Naruto is absolutely thrilled about.

 

“Then I could convince him to go outside while you're waiting somewhere farther away,” He suggests.  “And then you can ambush him?”

 

“He’s faster than me,” The girl says with total certainty but she looks thoughtful now.

 

Naruto peers curiously at her.  “You look too old to be a Genin.”  And Genin don’t go around wearing those vest things anyway.

 

The girl’s eyebrows twitch, and then a fist comes down to drill into his head.  “Ow ow ow!  Stop!”

 

“Don’t call me old!”  The girl retorts, letting him go.  “And I'm not a Genin; I'm a Chuunin.”

 

Naruto grumbles and rubs his head.  “Then why do you still have a sensei?  I thought only Genin have those.”

 

The girl shakes her head.  “When you're a Genin, you get a team with a Jounin instructor, but even after you're promoted, that instructor stays your instructor for the rest of your life.  More than likely, you’ll go on missions with them, and you’ll be comrades instead of just teacher and student, but the respect stays.  Your sensei is the one who’ll help you prepare for the real world, ya know?  And while you're a Genin and still getting used to things, they’ll be the one to protect you and guide you.  That sort of thing doesn't go away even after you make Chuunin or Jounin or whatever else.”  She pauses, and something wistful enters her expression.  “A few of the stronger shinobi even take on apprentices.  That’s like a... one-on-one kinda teaching deal.  It doesn't happen all that much, and I’ve only heard of three other people who have taken on apprentices – Tsunade-sama and Jiraiya-sama of the Sannin both did, and the Yondaime as well before he took on a full team.”

 

Naruto’s eyes go round.  He doesn't know who Tsunade or Jiraiya are but he’s always admired the Yondaime from the stories he’s heard about the guy.  “And you want to apprentice under Maru-san?”

 

The girl nods at once, fire blazing in her eyes.  “Do you have any idea how much Sensei knows?  And he’s a great teacher, even back when he had a few screws loose, and even then, he was my teacher.”  She glances at him sharply.  “Why are you trying to get us to talk anyway?”

 

Naruto shrugs.  “He could use some friends.”

 

The girl looks torn between laughing and staring.  Naruto adds defensively, “He’s helped me a lot; I just want to help him back when I can.  You seem important to him, so...”

 

“I am important to him,” The girl sounds certain but she smiles a little at Naruto now like he’s somehow helped reinforce it.  “Alright, well, it’s not like an ambush will hurt anyone.  Let’s try it.”

 

Naruto grins, climbing to his feet, and then he stops and thinks.  “Oh yeah, hey, what’s your name?”

 

 

The girl rolls his eyes, and she has the exact same look Orochimaru wears whenever Naruto does something dumb.  “It’s Anko, brat.  The name’s Mitarashi Anko.”

 

~0~0~0~

 

“Going behind my back now?”  Orchimaru is not impressed.  At all.

 

“Not like it worked,” Naruto gripes from where he’s pinned to the trunk of a tree with five of Orochimaru’s kunai.

 

Orochimaru directs a thin, condescending smile at him.  Naruto cringes a little.

 

“Of course not.”  He blinks once, slowly, before turning his gaze onto his other captive for the first time in over five years.  “I'm surprised you thought this would work.”

 

Anko growls at him from where she’s tangled up in a net trap that Naruto set off earlier, only for Orochimaru to deflect it with casual ease and turn it against them.

 

“Yeah, well, I was getting kinda desperate!”  Anko snaps.  “What’s your problem anyway, Sensei?  I just want you to teach me again!”

 

“You can find other teachers,” Orochimaru counters evenly.

 

“But they're not you!”  The net swings from the force of Anko’s aggravation.  “I want to learn from you, I want the Snake summons-”

 

“I can give you that,” Orochimaru interrupts.  If all she wants are the Snakes, and then she’ll move on with her damn life, then-

 

“I want to earn the Snake summons from you, not just go through the contract trial!”  Anko barks.  “But you won’t even talk to me anymore-”

 

“You know why-”

 

“No I fucking don’t!”

 

“I explained it to you-”

 

“Well it was a shit explanation-”

 

“It was a legitimate-”

 

“I already told you – I don’t care-”

 

“Then you are a fool-”

 

“You're better now!  You've been better for years-”

 

“I have never been trusted in this village to begin with.  And the people who were there on that day still remember; my old teammates, Hatake, the Hokage, they still remember-”

 

“What does that have to do with my apprenticeship?!”

 

“They are powerful people, and their word holds weight; consider what any mistrust on their part may do to your career.  And if you associate yourself with me, the village will talk, and your reputation-”

 

“SCREW MY REPUTATION!!”  Anko roars, and Orochimaru inwardly flinches when tears well up in her eyes.  Anko isn’t one to cry.  “If I don’t care about it, why the hell should you?  I don’t care what other people say about me; let them talk!  I’ll shove a kunai up their ass if they get too mouthy!  Do you really think I care about my reputation more than I care about you?!  Goddamnit, Sensei, you're the closest thing I have to a family and you just left me behind!”

 

Orochimaru stands very still, speechless and feeling more helpless than he should.

 

True, in the moments between his mad search for more power, for immortality, when he felt a little more at peace with himself, Anko was probably the closest he would ever get to having a daughter.  But that was ages ago, during a time better left forgotten, and he doesn't know why Anko insists on dredging up those memories over and over when – by all rights – she shouldn't want to remember them anymore than he does.

 

“You act like you did something terrible to me,” Anko cuts into his thoughts, and when Orochimaru focuses on her again, there’s something like exasperation and sympathy and affection all rolled up into one colouring her features.  “But you know, Sensei, you didn't.”

 

“I would have,” He tells her, and the honesty burns his throat like acid.  “If the Yondaime hadn't stopped me.”

 

“Exactly,” Anko stresses.  “You were stopped, so you didn't do it, and you haven’t tried again.  You're hung up over something you never did-”

 

“I did other things leading up to-”

 

“You experimented on prisoners of war and animals,” Anko dismisses like it’s nothing.  “And yeah, it was disgusting and kinda sick, and I feel sorry for all the fluffy creatures and even the enemy shinobi that had to be butchered for your cause.  But at least they were just animals and ninja from other villages during wartime, and the most important thing here is that you stopped.  Right?  You don’t have some creepy hidden lab underneath your house or something?  So you're not cutting things open anymore, and you're not halfway insane anymore.  And yet you're living out here in the middle of nowhere like some exiled hermit, and you act like a walking corpse in public.  You never show your face anymore unless it’s to report to Hokage-sama or to go shopping, and don’t even get me started on all those solo S-rank missions you've been taking-”

 

“The Hokage sends me on those,” Orochimaru interjects.  “I have no say in them.  If you have a problem with that, take it up with him.”

 

Anko cocks her head in a very foreboding way, as if she’s seriously considering storming the Hokage Tower to yell at the Sandaime.

 

Orochimaru can feel a headache coming on just thinking about it.  He heaves a sigh, feeling more tired than anything else.  “Anko-”

 

“I miss you,” Anko admits, quiet and blunt and earnest, and Orochimaru hasn't the faintest clue what to say to that.  “I miss you, I miss sparring with you, I miss going on missions with you, I miss your cooking, I miss your most boring-ass lectures, I miss dragging you off the training grounds whenever you forget to eat and sleep because you're eyeballs-deep in creating another jutsu.  Hell, I even miss the back-breaking number of laps you used to assign me just because you were a sadistic bastard.  I miss you, and I'm not gonna stop bugging you until you give in, so you might as well just suck it up and accept the fact that I'm not going anywhere.”

 

An eerie hush follows that lengthy tirade that Anko has probably wanted to hurl at his face for a very long time.  Orochimaru doesn't know how to react so he looks away, indifference plastered on his face, pretending that he’s still the one in control of this conversation.  Pretending that he’s bored with it.

 

He’s good at pretending when he’s in unfamiliar territory.  Jiraiya tends to bluster when he’s in over his head, and even on the best of days, Tsunade can’t bluff to save her life, but Orochimaru can con his way through just about anything no matter how stumped he is.

 

Orochimaru blinks, and he finds large blue eyes staring back at him, worried and inquisitive and befuddled.  With a jolt, he realizes that he forgot about Naruto.

 

The boy’s been holding his tongue though, a miracle in and of itself, especially when he can’t have understood half of what Orochimaru and Anko have been arguing about.

 

It was easy to let Naruto run rampant into his life, easier than letting Anko do the same.  For all that the child’s life hasn't been easy, he is still innocent enough to take things in stride, to look at Orochimaru and not see a monster, to simply accept and not judge.  And it’s not like Orochimaru can damage Naruto’s standing much further than where it’s already at when it comes to most of the village, not to mention between the two of them, Sensei will always blame Orochimaru first so the boy is safe from the Hokage’s reservations, and coupled with the fact that there’s a mix of Minato and Kushina in the child as well, Orochimaru’s defenses were nowhere near shored up enough to keep Naruto out.

 

But Anko is a different matter.  For all that there were times when he was her sensei that he was genuinely fond of her, the rest of the time, he was only focused on how she could be used in his experiments.  Most likely, she wouldn't have survived the results, and he didn't even care about that until after-

 

Until After.

 

And yet, now that it’s all out in the open between the two of them...

 

He glances back at her again.  Her jaw is set in a stubborn line, and it’s been over five years, and she hasn't given up, and now Orochimaru knows what’s been driving her.  It’s not that she wants him as her sensei again, although that is a part of it.  But a bigger part, a part he’s overlooked because unlike Anko, he’s always tried to erase the memories of those years from his mind, is the fact that she’s not willing to lose a personal bond.

 

Orochimaru isn’t the best at emotions but he knows how powerful they can be, how they can drive a person to madness or give them strength against insurmountable odds or bring them happiness or shatter their heart and spirit once and for all.

 

Anko has always been utterly intractable, that much he’s seen from the moment he met her in an emptying Academy classroom, so...

 

So, what’s the point?  She isn’t going to yield, and Orochimaru has already let one child in.  He can repeat the same excuses he’s given to himself and her for years, but apparently, she doesn't care.

 

Foolish girl.  Then again, only foolish people would actively seek his company the way Anko and Naruto have both done.

 

Orochimaru surveys the two of them again, both of them looking back at him with steadfast faith instead of doubt or fear or revulsion.

 

He hates this.  He was fine before, when his life consisted of (tame) research and missions and more research and more missions and very little else, before he found a little golden-haired boy crying in the woods, and brought him home in what was clearly a moment of mental impairment.

 

He’s not good with kids.  Jiraiya once told him as much, right after the Incident, eyes unforgiving and appalled, told him that he shouldn't be allowed anywhere near children, shouldn't even be allowed near people (the bastard threw Nawaki of all people in his face when he knew that Orochimaru still bears the burn scars for trying to save that kid for Tsunade).  Even worse, Tsunade was there and heard every word, and didn't bother contradicting Jiraiya.

 

Only Minato saw who he was and still thought he deserved a second chance.

 

(“Trust has got to start somewhere, Orochimaru-san, so, I’ll give it first.  I know you think that’s naive of me but I'm Hokage now, and... that’s the sort of Hokage I want to be.  I think you could do a lot for this village, and banishing you or executing you would be a real waste.  Besides, everyone deserves a second chance.”)

 

Only Kushina smiled at him and believed he could be better.

 

(“You should trust yourself more, Orochimaru-san.  Minato gave you a second chance; you’d waste it by messing up, but you know, you’ll also waste it if you don’t start moving forward again.  So trust yourself more, ’ttebane!  You have to give yourself a chance too.  Otherwise, it’s meaningless.”)

 

Orochimaru inhales a breath before exhaling again.  It feels like defeat.

 

And at the same time, it doesn't at all.

 

He spins back, and in one smooth motion, he flicks out a kunai that cuts the net down.  Anko lands in a heap on the ground but she’s up and lunging forward within the span of a few heartbeats, slamming into Orochimaru and winding her arms around his waist like she’s afraid he’ll disappear and start ignoring her again.

 

Slowly, he lifts a hand and slides it almost possessively around the back of her neck, the closest he can get to a display of affection.  He’s never been one for hugs, and prolonged contact with anyone makes his skin crawl.

 

It would be so easy to break her spine like this, a clinical voice in his head idly comments.

 

Orochimaru almost jerks his hand back with the speed of someone burned, but Anko still has her face buried in his chest, so instead, he forces himself not to move.  Catalogues the thought that just flitted through his head.  Relaxes ever so slightly when he realizes that it was just a shinobi reflex.

 

Still, he’ll have to watch himself.

 

“I can stay?”  Anko’s voice is muffled but still clear enough.

 

Orochimaru releases a short sigh.  “...Yes, alright.  You win.  You can stay.”

 

Anko’s only reply is to tighten her hands in the fabric of his shirt.  Orochimaru doesn't complain.

 

“That’s great!” Naruto pipes up from the far right, effectively ruining the atmosphere.  “She’s staying!  Now can someone please let me down?”

 

 

Anko snorts and pulls back, surreptitiously wiping at her eyes.  Even Orochimaru feels a spark of amusement as they both head over to where Naruto is still stuck to a tree.